i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
