so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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