I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
