Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
