sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
