just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
At least life still wants to fuck me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
