i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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