Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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