ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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