don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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