the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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