her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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