I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
