I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
