Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
