She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
