I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
