I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
