Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
