Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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