I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
