I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
