just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
