No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
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