am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So squirting runs in the family.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
