Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
