i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
