Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
