birth control should be required to get into college
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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