I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
