Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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