i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
