Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
