pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
