If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
