a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
