you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
