Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
