at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
