After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
