I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
