The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
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