just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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