I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
