I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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