I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
