At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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