Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
