guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
