just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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